Monday, July 15, 2019

Hello Again, Dear Friend

My last post on this blog was on the heels of a break up with someone I thought I was building a life with. At the time, I chose to be kind to myself and not spend hours in the week on an endeavor that no longer gave me joy — Messy Wands was many things to me throughout the years: fun hobby, safe harbor from an emotionally abusive relationship, a way to meet friends... Unfortunately, I became confused when contemplating what it meant to be successful, forgetting that a hobby didn't need to be productive or provide income or get more page views or have more Instagram followers. It should always have been writing about things that brought me joy.

Four years have passed. I want to go back to paying attention to the small things and writing about them again, so here I am.


A couple months ago, I graduated from Columbia University with a Master's in Computer Science. I'm now on a brief holiday before starting my new job as a software engineer in August. Immersing myself in this new world made me ever more grateful for my liberal arts undergraduate education. I went from a program where kids joked about not knowing how to do math to a program where kids joked about not being able to write a paper on poetry, and I wished there was a way to convince both groups that they should break out of those neatly defined categories. One of the more common experiences shared by women who were interested in CS was wondering if they fit in an industry that seemed to be just guys who tinkered with computers and code even in their spare time. Imagine how many opportunities and experiences we have let slip because we thought something wasn't for us based on an impression of what "has been."

On beauty, I'm no longer doggedly monitoring new releases. Other than Lisa Eldridge's new lipsticks, I haven't bought makeup other than to replenish essentials — it may please or despair you to know that I still swear by the eyeshadows and eyeliners I procured in Japan all those years ago. After two painstaking trips to Sephora to try to replace my Three eyeliner, I caved in and just ordered it from ichibankao. I am, however, even more fanatical than before when it comes to skincare, the details of which I will happily share with you in future posts.

Lastly, the part I most missed about Messy Wands was the meeting of minds. I relished the conversations with readers about smells and colors and textures that made us giddy. This time around, I'll write about my other interests: books, Broadway shows, Malaysian food, how to decorate a small apartment... If any of them resonates with you, I hope you'll reach out so we can have a chat!

26 comments:

  1. Glad to read a new post from you! Welcome back and I can't wait to read more :)

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  2. I still have Bloglovin so I'm glad to see you're back :)

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  3. Welcome back and Congratulations on graduating! Cant wait to hear about your other endeavors!

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  4. Congratulations on your degree and new job, and I am so glad you are back! My husband is another software engineer with a liberal arts degree; it definitely serves him well.

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    1. I'm so happy to hear that! I think the tech industry would benefit greatly from having more people with interdisciplinary backgrounds :)

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  5. Hi! So good to hear from you!:) Congratulations for your success at university and on finding a job straight after! Well done!
    Of course, I'm looking forward to reading your posts:)

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    1. Thank you! I panicked a little by end of last year when everyone around me had a job and I was still interviewing. I'm glad it worked out

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  6. Congratulations on your new degree and forging a new path in life. How wonderful that you have opened yourself up to new opportunities. Books! I'm in. Malaysian food!! I am definitely in!!!

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  7. Happy to see you again! It was a pleasant surprise when I saw the notification in my mail. Congratulation on the successes in your life! Every new start is welcome! Big hugs from Greece!

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    1. Thank you for your well wishes! I'm humbled to see so many old readers return!

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  8. I never really commented before, but I've always loved your writing, in general, and am so happy to see this update! Welcome back :D

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  9. Welcome back! I’m glad to hear that life has taken you on a journey to a better place and hope that your blog will continue to be a positive element for you :) I really enjoyed your voice on beauty so I look forward to reading more from you on that and lots of other things!

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  10. Love that you are back! Congratulations on your degree. My sister is also has the same degree from Columbia. So YAY, women in tech ROCK and kick ass!

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    1. Oh how exciting! Love hearing about more women in tech :)

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  11. Oh, I am so happy to see your return! I always enjoyed and relied upon your comments. Congratulations on positive changes and moving forward. Wishing you happiness and I look forward to reading you again. -Pamela

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    1. Thank you for being a reader all these years!

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  12. It put a big smile on my face to read this. I missed seeing you in my bloglovin feed. Here's to a Messy Wands renaissance! -Tara Joy

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  13. Well holy cow! I'm so very pleased and excited to see that you're back online, Xiao! I loved your blog and stopped by frequently to learn more about how to apply make up and hear about all these amazing brands that don't exist in America. In fact, I swung by your blog today after maybe 2 years without a visit, because even though I don't wear make up much these days, I have a holiday party to go to and thought I'd look through your old posts for inspiration. And ta-da, you're back! So glad to hear that things are going well for you, and welcome to the world of women in the computer sciences! (There are some rad, rad women doing amazing work - and I could go down a rabbit hole here about how you're exactly on point with how it feels to be a woman in this field right now, and how the upcoming generation, with their focused, inclusive STEM education, will have so many more opportunities, but.....)

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